Objective Opinions

Life. What is it about?

09 September 2010 -

Posted by DaveT

It's about smashing the sh*t out of unsociables created by society. It's about the violence necessary to complete a good night out. It's about good use of glass. It's about putting all the rage from hours of editing crap articles in some 2nd-rate newspaper into one wild f***ing swing.

It's about the phrase that can only be...

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Fifa Announces New Rules for the 2010 World Cup

21 June 2010 -

Posted by DaveT

Rebellion amongst the French; the most ludicrous red card given in the tournament; a game that involved two sides acting out the football equivalent of La Battaglia di Algieri (a rather dull film that doesn't go either way); and the dreaded vuvuzelas - small wonder that Fifa has announced new rules for the remainder of the 2010 World Cup,...

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Paedophile Raped by Puppy

21 June 2010 -

Posted by DaveT

Yesterday afternoon a very bizarre and possibly tragic incident occurred: A semi-notorious paedophile suffered the shock of his life when he himself was raped by a minor. If that is not strange enough, the minor turned out to be an eighteen-month-old Alsation.

The dog, whose name we may not disclose for legal reasons, attacked the paedophile at...

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Call to Ban Pelican Crossings (originally conceived when Methadone was causing a fuss)

21 June 2010 -

Posted by DaveT

We see them on the high street. Sometimes we even hear them, listening to their high-pitched ranting against our will. Pelican crossings, better known as their recently-made-up street names, such as "beepers," "squawk squawk," and "legal-crossing" have existed as a nuisance and a danger to the public for years, and...

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